Iran will kill all their sexy citizens

Jun.14, 2007 in News to Annoy

In what could prove to be the most deadly insertion outside of any involving Robert Reed, Iranian soap star Zahra Amir Ebrahimi, who had a sex tape released last year, may face the death penalty due to new laws that would call for the kiling of any pornographic film stars.

With a 148-5 vote in favor and four abstentions, lawmakers present at the Wednesday session of the 290-seat parliament approved that “producers of pornographic works and main elements in their production are considered corrupter of the world and could be sentenced to punishment as corrupter of the world.”

It is widely believed that the drafting of the bill came about as a reaction to a scandal last year, when a private videotape, apparently belonging to Iranian actress Zahra Amir Ebrahimi and allegedly showing her having intercourse with a man, became available across Iran.

The videotape was leaked to the Internet and released on a black market DVD, becoming a full-blown Iranian sex tape scandal. Ebrahimi later came under an official investigation, which is still ongoing. She faces fines, whip lashing or worse for her violation of Iran’s morality laws.

The government estimates that the tape sold over 100,000 copies on the black market, retailing at $13 US. In Iranian terms, that means her sex tape went “Camel.” 20,000 copies would mean that it went “Frankensense.” Disappointing sales of 5,000 would mean that it went “Oil” (because oil is so plentiful there that it means nothing to them!).

Far be it from me to find Iran’s views “conservative” or “out there”; I think they’re completely correct with this. When a top soap star releases a tape, presumably called “I Do It in the Ebrahimi,” you have to keep that under control. You can’t have your women running around, shedding their burkas, showing off their filthy whorish necks, hair swinging around free and loose. It’s sick. What if my son Gilgamesh sees that? He’d be forever corrupted from the words of the Quran and slip into a life filled with Abercrombie t-shirts, libations, and protected sex.

Disgusting. USA hack-patooey!