Ron Artest is in Kenya? That’s a great idea.

Jul.16, 2007 in BoH Sports

In a phenomenal idea for a cultural exchange, if I’ve ever heard one, Ron Artest is in Kenya to do…I actually don’t know. Something involving giving rice to Kenyans.

He clearly takes particular pride in the Kenya initiative, during which Artest and his colleagues from the NBA have helped deliver five metric tons of rice by boat from Taiwan to Kenya. Joining Boston’s Ratliff, Washington’s Thomas and the Los Angeles Lakers’ Evans on the trip is former NBA player Kermit Washington.

How much pride?

Artest says that he’s buying a house in Kenya “so I can travel back in the summers and help out in the slums.” He then proceeded to send along several pictures from the trip via e-mail.

First, do you really want a guy who can’t even feed his own dogs to be one of the driving forces behind feeding a nation? Were the irony police unavailable to make a judgment on that one?

Second, how did the NBA decide which players to send on this trip? Clearly they weren’t sending the best, most humane and sane players to be ambassadors. Did they base their picks on who might be the best candidate to snap and exterminate all of Kenya with Artest and “The Rudy T Slayer” Kermit Washington being invited? How must Maurice Evans feel being the third wheel in this triumphant trio? I imagine it to be similar to being forced to hang around with the Three Stooges, but if they had a penchant for randomly attacking you with fists instead of two slow-moving fingers to the eye.

Perhaps even worse, what if Ron Artest becomes the leader for a generation of Kenyans? What then? A tribe of “Tru Wariers” is not one I’d necessarily want existing in any sense. Forget Daniel Artest, Kenya might be a real problem for David Stern in a couple years.

On the plus side, those kids can probably run away if need be. For days.